What to Do When Someone Dies: A Complete Checklist From Hospice to After

If you're reading this, someone you love is probably nearing the end of their life, or has just died. You may be exhausted, numb, or moving through a fog where even simple decisions feel impossible. That's normal. Almost no one knows what to do the first time, and nobody expects you to.

This guide walks through the whole journey in the order you'll actually live it. It starts earlier than most checklists, at the moment hospice begins, because the weeks before a death are when families have the most power to make everything that follows easier, and the most precious time to spend together. Jump to whatever stage you're in. You don't have to read it all at once, and you don't have to do it all today.

Also on this page: a who-to-call reference table, a printable checklist, and answers to common questions.

Hospice is not giving up. It's a shift in focus from trying to cure an illness to making the time that's left as comfortable, peaceful, and meaningful as possible. Many families say their only regret about hospice is that they didn't start it sooner.

Understand what hospice provides

In the U.S., hospice is usually covered by Medicare Part A, Medicaid, and most private insurance once a doctor certifies that a person likely has six months or less to live if the illness runs its expected course. The person agrees to comfort care rather than treatment aimed at curing the terminal illness. Care can continue past six months if the doctor keeps recertifying it, and the patient can leave hospice at any time.

Most hospice care happens wherever the person lives: their home, a family member's home, assisted living, or a nursing home. A hospice team typically includes:

• A hospice nurse who manages pain and symptoms and visits regularly. A nurse is also reachable by phone 24 hours a day.
• A hospice physician who oversees the care plan alongside the person's own doctor.
• Home health aides who help with bathing and personal care.
• A social worker who helps with paperwork, family conversations, and planning.
• A chaplain or spiritual care provider, for any faith or none.
• Volunteers who can sit with your loved one so you can rest.
• Bereavement support for the family that continues for about a year after the death.

Hospice also generally covers medical equipment like a hospital bed and medications related to the terminal illness. It usually does not cover room and board in a nursing home or around-the-clock in-home caregivers, so ask early how those costs will be handled. Some families also bring in a death doula, a non-medical companion who helps with emotional support, legacy projects, and planning the final days.

Gather the documents while your loved one can still help

This is the single most valuable thing a family can do before a death. Once someone is gone, finding a will, a life insurance policy, or the password to a bank account can take months. While they're alive and able, it can take an afternoon. Work through these gently together, or with the hospice social worker:

• Advance directive and living will: their wishes about life support, feeding tubes, and resuscitation.
• Healthcare power of attorney: who makes medical decisions if they can't.
• DNR order or POLST/MOLST form: a signed medical order telling emergency responders not to attempt CPR. The name varies by state. Keep it visible at home.
• Financial (durable) power of attorney: who can pay bills and manage accounts now. This authority ends at death, when the executor takes over.
• Will or trust: where the original is and who the executor is.
• Beneficiary designations: life insurance, retirement accounts, and payable-on-death bank accounts pass outside the will, so they need to be current.
• A list of accounts: banks, credit cards, investments, pensions, insurance, loans, utilities, and subscriptions.
• Digital life: phone passcode, email, password manager, social media, and photo storage. Without the phone passcode, families can lose years of photos.
• Key documents: Social Security card, birth and marriage certificates, military discharge papers (DD-214), property deeds, and vehicle titles.
• People to notify: friends, former coworkers, church or club members, and the people only they know how to reach.
• Funeral wishes: burial or cremation, a preferred funeral home, any prepaid (pre-need) plan, music, readings, and where they'd like to rest.
• Donation wishes: whole-body donation to a medical school usually must be arranged in advance, and tissue or eye donation may still be possible after a hospice death even when organ donation isn't.

Have the conversations that matter

Paperwork protects the family. Conversations protect the relationship. Ask your loved one what matters most to them now: where they want to be at the end, who they want to see, what music or prayers bring comfort, what they want their service to feel like. Some people want to plan every detail of their own funeral. Others would rather talk about anything else. Follow their lead.

Palliative care physician Ira Byock describes four things people most need to say before a death: Please forgive me. I forgive you. Thank you. I love you. If there's something you need to say, say it now.

Celebrate them while they can still feel it

Too often, the most beautiful words about a person are spoken at their funeral, a few days too late for them to hear. Hospice is a chance to change that. Families are increasingly gathering stories, photos, and messages now, while their loved one can read them, laugh at them, and add their own.

• Record their voice. Even ten minutes of audio telling a favorite story becomes priceless. Our 50 questions to ask your parents are a gentle place to start.
• Invite people to send messages. Friends who can't visit can still say goodbye in writing, and you can read their words aloud at the bedside.
• Collect photos from everyone. Old friends and cousins have pictures you've never seen.
• Consider a living celebration while your loved one can still attend: a small gathering, a video call, or a "memory night."

Take care of the caregivers

Caregiving at the end of life is physically and emotionally exhausting, and exhausted caregivers make harder decisions. Accept every offer of help, and be specific: "Can you sit with Mom Tuesday afternoon?" works better than "Let me know if you need anything." Ask the hospice about respite care: Medicare's hospice benefit can cover a short inpatient stay, generally up to five days at a time, so the family caregiver can rest. If you work, ask HR about the Family and Medical Leave Act (FMLA), which allows many employees up to 12 weeks of unpaid, job-protected leave a year to care for a seriously ill spouse, parent, or child.

Dying is a natural process, and the body tends to follow a recognizable pattern as it slows down. Knowing what's normal can turn a frightening moment into one you're able to stay calm and present for. Every person is different; some signs appear weeks out and others only in the final hours.

Common signs in the final weeks

• Sleeping much more, and less interest in conversation or visitors.
• Eating and drinking less, then very little. This is the body's natural process, not starvation, and forcing food can cause discomfort.
• Withdrawing inward, sometimes talking about "going home" or a trip, or mentioning people who have already died.

Common signs in the final days and hours

• Breathing changes: long pauses between breaths, or cycles of rapid then slow breathing.
• Noisy, gurgling breathing from secretions in the throat. It sounds distressing but usually doesn't bother the person. The nurse can suggest repositioning or medication.
• Cool hands and feet, and purplish, blotchy (mottled) skin on the knees, feet, and hands.
• Restlessness or confusion, such as picking at sheets. Tell the nurse; it can often be eased.
• Less urine, darker in color.
• A brief rally: sometimes a burst of clarity, energy, or appetite a day or two before death. Treasure it, and use it to say what you want to say.

Call the hospice nurse any time something worries you. That's what the 24-hour line is for, and no question is too small. They can tell you what they're seeing and whether it's time to gather the family.

How to be present

• Keep talking to them. Hearing is widely believed to be one of the last senses to fade. Tell them who is in the room, share memories, read the messages friends have sent, and say goodbye even if they don't respond.
• Touch gently. Hold their hand, stroke their hair, moisten their lips with a swab.
• Create the atmosphere they'd want: soft light, favorite music, a prayer, the family dog on the bed.
• Give permission. Many hospice nurses notice that people sometimes seem to hold on until they hear it's okay to let go: "We'll be all right. We'll take care of each other."
• Forgive yourself in advance. Many people die in the few minutes when family steps out for coffee or sleep. It's common, and it isn't a failure.

Small things to settle now

• Choose the funeral home if you haven't, so you know who will be called.
• Decide who will call whom. A short phone tree spares one person dozens of calls.
• Ask whether your loved one wants anything specific with them: a rosary, a ring, a favorite blanket, certain clothing.
• Let distant family know, so anyone who wants to come can.

When death comes, the breathing stops, there's no pulse, the eyes may stay partly open, and the jaw may relax. Even when you've been expecting it, the moment can be overwhelming. There is no emergency now. You don't have to call anyone immediately. Many families sit with their loved one for an hour or more, pray, cry, or simply hold them. Take the time you need.

If they died at home with hospice

If the death happened somewhere else

At home without hospice, or unexpectedly: call 911. Emergency responders will come, and if the death wasn't expected, the police and a medical examiner or coroner may need to be involved. If there's a valid DNR or POLST, show it to responders. This doesn't mean anyone suspects wrongdoing; it's a legal requirement for unattended deaths.

In a hospital, nursing home, or hospice facility: staff will confirm the death and ask which funeral home to call. You can usually stay with your loved one for a while before they're moved.

Away from home or out of state: contact a funeral home near where you want the burial or service. They can coordinate with a funeral home where the death occurred to bring your loved one home.

Before you leave, or soon after

• Tell immediate family personally, before anything goes on social media. A small circle is enough for now.
• Arrange care for children, dependent adults, and pets who relied on your loved one.
• Secure the home and vehicle if they lived alone: locks, lights, perishable food, keys, valuables, medications, and important papers.
• Look for a prepaid funeral plan or written wishes before meeting the funeral home.
• Eat something and sleep if you can. The next few days are full of decisions.

Meet with the funeral home

Bring your loved one's full legal name, Social Security number, date and place of birth, parents' names (including mother's maiden name), marital status, education, occupation, military discharge papers if they served, and any prepaid plan. The funeral home uses this to file the death certificate.

The Federal Trade Commission's Funeral Rule gives you important protections. Funeral homes must give you an itemized general price list when you ask about arrangements in person, and must give prices over the phone if you ask. You can choose only the goods and services you want, and you can buy a casket or urn elsewhere without paying a handling fee. Embalming generally isn't required by law, and direct cremation or immediate burial are lower-cost options. It helps to bring a calm friend who isn't grieving as deeply.

Order certified copies of the death certificate

The funeral home usually files the death certificate and can order certified copies for you. You'll need originals, not photocopies, for banks, life insurance, investment accounts, pensions, the DMV, and property transfers. Most families order 5 to 10 or more; count the institutions on your list and add a few. More can be ordered later from your state or county vital records office, but it usually takes longer. If a medical examiner is involved, the cause of death may be pending for days or weeks.

Notify the most time-sensitive people and agencies

• Social Security: the funeral home usually reports the death, but call the Social Security Administration yourself to confirm and ask about survivor benefits. A one-time $255 lump-sum death payment may be available to a surviving spouse or child. Benefits are paid a month behind, so a payment received for the month of death usually must be returned.
• Employer: if your loved one was working, ask about final pay, unused vacation, workplace life insurance, and pension or retirement accounts.
• Veterans Affairs: if they served, they may be eligible for burial in a VA national cemetery, a government headstone or marker, a burial flag, military funeral honors, and in some cases a burial allowance. Tell the funeral home; they can help request these.
• Life insurance companies: start claims with the policy number and a certified death certificate.

Write and share the obituary

An obituary announces the death, shares the story of a life, and gives service details. Our step-by-step obituary guide includes a fill-in template. Most funeral homes will post it on their website, and newspapers charge for print notices. For safety, leave out the exact birth date, the home address, and the mother's maiden name; identity thieves and burglars sometimes watch obituaries, and homes are occasionally targeted during services.

Give everyone one place to gather

In the days after a death, families are flooded with the same questions over and over: When is the service? Where do I send flowers? Is there a livestream? Can I share a photo? One simple page answers all of it at once, and an obituary never has room for everything people want to share.

Plan the service

A funeral, memorial service, or celebration of life doesn't have to happen within days. Many families now hold a private burial or cremation right away and a celebration weeks later, when people can travel and the family has had time to breathe. Some religious and cultural traditions call for a service within days, and that's fine too. Our celebration of life planning guide walks through venue, speakers, music, readings, and slideshows. Ask a friend to keep a list of who sent food, flowers, and gifts so thank-you notes are easier later.

Once the service is over, the administrative work begins. It's slow and often frustrating, so pace yourself. Most of this falls to the executor (or "personal representative") named in the will, or to a court-appointed administrator if there's no will.

Start the estate process

Protect against identity theft

Send a copy of the death certificate to each of the three credit bureaus (Equifax, Experian, and TransUnion) and ask them to place a deceased flag on the credit file. Cancel credit cards and watch for mail about new accounts. Scammers target grieving families, so be wary of anyone calling about a "debt" or "unclaimed policy" who asks for payment.

Contact, transfer, or close accounts

• Banks and credit unions: joint accounts usually pass to the survivor; payable-on-death accounts go to the named beneficiary.
• Retirement accounts, annuities, and pensions: beneficiaries file claims directly with the plan.
• Health insurance, Medicare, and Medicaid: Social Security typically informs Medicare, but confirm and cancel any supplemental or private plans.
• Mortgage, rent, and property: keep insurance active on an empty home and notify the lender or landlord.
• Utilities, phone, internet, and streaming: transfer or cancel. Check bank statements for recurring subscriptions.
• DMV: cancel the driver's license or state ID and transfer vehicle titles.
• Passport and voter registration: notify the State Department and your local election office.
• Mail: the executor can forward mail through the U.S. Postal Service, which also helps uncover unknown accounts.
• Memberships and loyalty programs: close them, and ask whether airline miles or points can transfer.

Handle their digital life

Facebook and Instagram let you memorialize an account or request removal. Apple and Google both have legacy and inactive-account tools that let designated people access data; without them, recovering photos can be difficult. Download photos and videos before closing anything.

Taxes

A final federal and state income tax return is due for the year of death, filed by the executor or surviving spouse. If the estate earns income while it's being settled (interest, rent, or a sale), it may need its own return (IRS Form 1041). Federal estate tax affects only very large estates, though some states have lower thresholds. A tax professional can save you time and mistakes.

The phone calls slow down. The casseroles stop arriving. Everyone else returns to normal, and that's often when grief hits hardest. There's no timeline and no right way to grieve. Waves of sadness, anger, guilt, numbness, and even relief are all normal, and they don't follow neat stages.

Finish the estate

Pay valid debts and final expenses from the estate, file final tax returns, distribute assets according to the will or state law, and close the estate. Simple estates can wrap up in months; complicated ones can take a year or more. That's normal, and it's fine to move slowly. Before clearing out the home, give family a chance to choose keepsakes, and photograph things nobody can keep.

Get support for your grief

• Use the hospice's bereavement program. Hospices offer grief support to families for about a year after a death, often including calls, mailings, and support groups, at no cost. Many families never realize it's available.
• Find a grief group through hospices, hospitals, places of worship, or online communities.
• Get practical help with what's left. Services like Good Grief help families work through the after-loss to-do list so it doesn't all land on one person.
• Talk to a professional if grief isn't easing over time, if you can't function day to day, or if you're having thoughts of harming yourself. In the U.S., you can call or text 988 any time.

Keep their memory alive

The first year is full of hard "firsts": birthdays, holidays, the anniversary of the death. Families who plan something for these days often find them easier than those who try to push through. Light a candle, cook their favorite meal, visit their resting place, or invite people to share a memory.

This is also when a memorial page quietly does its most important work. A year from now, a grandchild will want to hear their voice. A cousin will find a photo nobody else has seen. An old friend will learn of the death and want somewhere to say goodbye. A TributeWell page stays open for exactly that: a place to return on anniversaries, add new memories, and let the family know people are thinking of them.

Who to Call: Quick Reference

Printable Checklist: From Hospice to After

Common Questions